Why are theaters sexualizing our popcorn buckets?

Moviegoers across the nation are up in arms over the sudden and inexplicable sexualization of our popcorn buckets. That's right, folks, those innocent vessels that once held our precious popcorn aren’t so innocent anymore.

But why are theatres resorting to such scandalous tactics? According to insiders, it's all about the money! Theatres are hoping to cash in on our collective desire for Instagrammable moments. By making popcorn buckets sexual, they're counting on us to snap photos and share them on social media, generating buzz and driving sales. It's a clever ploy, but have they gone too far?

One outraged movie fan exclaimed, "I just want to enjoy my popcorn, without feeling like I'm objectifying an inanimate object!" Another lamented, "I can't even take my kids to the movies anymore without explaining why someone would put popcorn in something so perverse.” And another moviegoer exclaimed, "I just want to enjoy my movie without feeling like I'm cheating on my significant other with a plastic snack container. I want to eat popcorn out of my bucket, not have sex with it!”

In response to the backlash, theatre representatives have issued a statement assuring us that the new designs are not intended to be "overtly sexual." While we appreciate the explanation and effort to liven things up, maybe it's time for theatres to take a step back and reconsider their approach. We just want to enjoy our movies and snacks without feeling like perverts!

Scoop by Brooke N. Rubbers