Sony/Marvel Spider-Man LEAKED contract explained and why Sony has to keep making bad movies

Hold on to your web-shooters, folks, because we’ve got some hot, fresh intel straight from the darkest corners of the internet. A mysterious figure, known only by the cryptic code name “Web-Slinger Ding-A-Ling69” (because of course it is), has just blown the lid off one of the strangest Hollywood contracts ever written. That’s right, the deal between Sony and Marvel—the one responsible for all those cringeworthy Spider-Man-adjacent movies—has leaked online. And let me tell you, it’s even weirder than we could’ve imagined.

This contract, which reads more like the fever dream of a Hollywood exec who gobbled down an unlimited supply of cocaine and cotton candy, reveals the bizarre rules Sony must follow to keep churning out these head-scratchingly bad Spider-Verse films. You’d think it was a joke, but no, this is the real deal.

So, buckle up as we take you through the twisted details of this leaked contract, how this deal works and why, against all odds, Sony seems committed to creating a slew of Spider-Man-adjacent films that absolutely no one asked for.

First off, Sony owns the film rights to Spider-Man, but there's a catch—a weird, convoluted, probably legally binding catch. To retain these lucrative rights, Sony must churn out Spider-Man-related movies every few years. But not just any movies—no, no. The contract clearly stipulates that these must be terrible movies.

Also, Sony isn’t allowed to use Spider-Man himself in these films. That's right—they own the rights to the character, but they’re contractually forbidden from putting Peter Parker in any of their villain movies. Instead, they must stick to characters no one has ever heard of or cares about. This clause also forbids them from using Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland in any capacity.

The contract also reportedly encourages hiring subpar writers and directors to ensure the finished product meets the abysmally low standards set by the previous entries. This explains why we got gems like Morbius and Madam Web. Yet, in a stroke of strategic genius, Sony's animation division is exempt from this clause. That’s why we have the Spider-Verse movies, which are legitimately great and prove Sony could make good Spider-Man movies if they weren’t so legally bound to do otherwise.

But wait, there’s more! In one of the more curious sections of the contract, Sony earns a bonus if their films become internet memes. Yes, you read that right. If a movie is so bad that it spawns viral content—think Morbius with the “It’s Morbin’ Time” craze—Sony gets a little something extra.

Why, you ask, would Sony do this? Why not just make good movies? Well, there's a conspiracy theory floating around that this whole arrangement is actually a masterstroke by Marvel. In short, they somehow suckered Sony! By ensuring Sony produces consistently terrible Spider-Man spin-offs, Marvel makes its own Spider-Man films (and the MCU as a whole) look even better by comparison. It’s the cinematic equivalent of standing next to someone shorter than you to appear taller. So next time you see another awful Spider-Man-adjacent movie from Sony, remember: it’s all part of the contract.

In conclusion, let’s give Sony some credit. It takes a special kind of genius to consistently deliver films like Madame Web and Morbius while still retaining the rights to one of the most beloved superheroes of all time. Their ability to crank out these bafflingly bad movies is truly impressive

Anyway, thanks for joining us in this attempt to explain the Sony and Marvel contract. It’s complicated, confusing, and just a little bit brilliant.

Leak by Web-Slinger Ding-A-Ling69