Sony Rebrands their Spider-Man Universe to the Rotten Spider-Man Universe

Sony has officially announced they’re rebranding their Spider-Man universe to Sony’s Rotten Spider-Man Universe. Yes, you read that correctly. With every single film in their universe scoring below 60% on Rotten Tomatoes, Sony decided it was time to embrace the chaos and, in their words, “lean into what the people think.” And what they think, apparently, is that the Sony Spider-Man Universe belongs in the dumpster-fire category of cinema. So, rather than trying to fight the tide, Sony’s taking the plunge, proudly planting its flag in the land of Rotten Tomatoes’ lowest-rated territories.

Rebranding to the Rotten Spider-Man Universe is more than a simple name change. Sources close to the studio say this is a creative overhaul. With all upcoming movies, Sony is promising even more half-written stories, boring character arcs, and villains who know they’re internet memes. In fact, rumors suggest future villains will break the fourth wall just to acknowledge the Rotten scores they’re earning as they deliver their lines. Will Kraven unleash his primal rage over his movie getting a “Rotten” rating? Will Morbius finally “Morb” his way to self-awareness? One can only hope.

But wait, there’s more: Sony is reportedly working on a Spider-Man-less Spider-Man trilogy. Each movie will feature characters vaguely linked to Spider-Man lore but with absolutely no trace of Peter Parker. Instead, fans can look forward to riveting, spider-free stories about characters you don’t remember from the comics, now with 100% more obscure references and guaranteed single-digit Rotten Tomatoes scores.

All in all, Sony’s decision to double down on the ”Rotten” label is certainly brave, but whether it will actually bring audiences back is another question entirely. Perhaps this new direction will transform Sony’s Spider-Man Universe into something truly unique, its own subgenre of cinema, where “Rotten” is the whole point. Or, just maybe, it’s a long-con setup for a Spider-Man-less movie so outrageous that even the critics can’t help but marvel at it. One thing’s for sure: Sony has caught our attention.

-Scoop by Dang Lin-Wang