Rumor: Warner Bros Is Flirting With The Idea Of Making Willy Wonka Transgender
According to The BloJo Movie Network, Warner Bros is flirting with the idea of making Willy Wonka transgender in their next reboot. Our sources tell us the movie will be a standalone story focused on Wonka’s sexual awakening. In regards to the plot, it is said that the script will be heavily influenced by Hedwig and the Angry Inch. And if that’s the case, will Willy Wonka be a victim of a botched sex-change operation? Furthermore, the movie will indulge in Wonka’s perverse fantasies of chocolate waterfalls and wondrous boat rides. We are told Wonka’s fantasies will be fully realized when he becomes the sole owner of a phallic shaped factory made from pure chocolate. We also heard (take this with a grain of salt) that the audience will experience Wonka’s loss of virginity in Wonkavision … which would be a real treat indeed. It’s certainly an interesting idea, though, right?
You have to admit, the studio is really showing their balls on this one. And supposedly, it’s just one of many titles that Warner Bros is considering. Reports have suggested that they have a whole slew of transgender titles in the pipeline -Godzilla 3, Lego Batman 2, Space Jam 2. There are even talks about making Furiosa transgender in the new Mad Max movie.
Many fans are happy to see that Warner Bros is giving the LGBTQQIAXYZ a larger audience. But not everybody shares the same opinions in this complicated world. Take JK Rowling as an example...
Transphobic Harry Potter author JK Rowling recently wrote an essay explaining how imaginary characters like Willy Wonka can’t be transgender. Because of this unpopular opinion, she is predicted to be canceled, and all of her Harry Potter books will be thrown into a volcano.
The BloJo Movie Network reached out to Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe. He responded by saying, “JK Rowling shouldn’t be trusted. She is an alien cockroach sent here to stir hatred among us earthlings. She has affected our senses on a subliminal level within the pages of her books.” He went on to say, “As a child actor, on the set of Harry Potter I saw something that changed my life forever. But I didn’t have the courage to speak up. Today I am not holding back. On the set of Hogwarts I saw her shed her skin and fly off in a tiny little rocket.” He then said something that shook the foundation of Twitter. “Imaginary characters can be whatever we want them to be if we use our imagination. Imagine a world where characters can be whatever we want. That’s the make-believe world that I want to live in. So to defeat her hatred, I have decided to make the change from male to female to secure the role of Willy Wonka.”
Let this be a reminder, Videoland, that our imagination is our ability to create new ideas and go to places we've never been before. And speaking of places we’ve never been before, let this also be a reminder that alien cockroaches live among us, stirring hatred at every corner.
What do our readers think? Is this the LGBTQQIAXYZ movie we need right now? Does Johnny Depp smell as bad as he looks? Is Johnny Depp an alien? Do Oompa-Loompas use urinals? If so, do they stand on their tippy toes to pee? Is Daniel Radcliffe really gonna cut off his frank and beans? Does JK Rowling have control over our thoughts? We will keep you updated on this breaking story as events unfold. Stay Woke, Videoland!
In other news, the water supply for a Disney Cruise Ship became contaminated with cocaine and ecstasy. All 500 passengers experienced the ride of a lifetime. One passenger described the cruise as a sex-fueled Fantasia-like extravaganza.
Also, Michael Jackson has reportedly risen from the grave to apologize for being white.
Scoop by Servian LeFever