Ralph Boner is the anchor being of the MCU's Sacred Timeline

In the vast and ever-expanding MCU, we've come to expect epic battles, unexpected alliances, and the occasional heart-wrenching twist. But let’s be real—none of us were prepared for the emotional rollercoaster “WandaVision” put us through when Marvel decided to dangle Evan Peters in front of us, only to reveal that his character wasn’t the multiverse-crossing Quicksilver we hoped for, but rather… Ralph Boner. Yes, that’s right—Boner. A penis joke.

Yet, in a shocking twist that even Wanda Maximoff couldn’t have seen coming, a source close to Kevin Feige now claims that Ralph Boner is actually the anchor being of the MCU's Sacred Timeline. Yes, you read that correctly. Ralph Boner, the man we all laughed off as a mere gag, could be the single most important character holding the entire MCU together. And if this rumor is true, it might just change everything we thought we knew about the Marvel Universe.

For those who might not be up to speed, the concept of an anchor being was introduced in “Deadpool 3.” According to the lore, an anchor being is a pivotal character whose existence maintains the stability of their universe. Should this character perish, their entire reality would collapse like a deck of cards—or worse, like The Acolyte show after one season.

Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer genius—or utter madness—of this revelation. We went from believing Ralph Boner was just a cheap joke, to discovering he might be the one thing keeping the entire MCU from imploding. If Ralph Boner dies, the Sacred Timeline dies. Forget about Thanos snapping his fingers; we need to protect Ralph Boner at all costs!

But what does this mean for the future of the MCU? Are we going to see Boner get the epic hero arc he deserves? Will he join the Avengers, or perhaps lead his own team of ragtag heroes in a Disney+ series titled “Boner: The Last Stand?” The possibilities are endless, and frankly, the stakes have never been higher.

Of course, this news raises more questions than it answers. Did Kevin Feige and the Marvel writers actually plan this all along? Or did they just decide to double down on the Boner joke because, well, why not? Either way, we’re here for it. In the wild, unpredictable landscape of the MCU, Ralph Boner might just be the greatest twist yet. Long live Ralph Boner—the true anchor of the Sacred Timeline.

Scooby by Eric Shawn