My Bloody Valentine vs My Bloody Valentine 3D
When most people think of Valentine’s Day movies, they probably think of a romantic comedy like My Best Friend’s Wedding or a romantic drama like Notebook. Well, we’re not most people. That’s why we’re pitting 1981’s My Bloody Valentine against its 2009 3-D remake. Which valentine is the bloodiest? Do you like your murder victims in 3-D or 2-D? And was it a missed opportunity for the same-named band not to appear in the new version? Sharpen your pickaxes, choose your valentine, and let’s talk about movies.
BRAD’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: MBV Valentine Bluffs
Best Character: TIE MBV & MBV3D Harry Warden & Copycats
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: TIE MBV & MBV3D Pickaxe Through Eyeball & Little Person Kill
Best Score or Soundtrack: MBV Paul Zaza with original songs by various artists
Best Screenplay: MBV Stephen Miller & John Beaird
Best Special Achievement: MBV Valentine’s Day Slasher
Best Scene: MBV First Valentines Day “Hallmark” Moment
Defining Moment: MBV Finding out there was an uncut version
Best Director: MBV George Mihalka
Wildcard: MBV3D The Betsy Rue Nudity Award
WTF: MBV The mental hospital has no records of Harry Warden
Best Picture: My Bloody Valentine
Total after deductions:
My Bloody Valentine: 10
My Bloody Valentine 3-D: 3
APRIL’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: MBV “Moosehead” Bar & Mines
Best Character: MBV Happy the Bartender
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: MBV Dave gets boiled to death in hot dog water
Best Score or Soundtrack: MBV Paul Zaza with original songs by various artists
Best Screenplay: MBV Stephen Miller & John Beaird
Best Special Achievement: MBV Chocolate Surprise
Best Scene: MBV3D Titties & Cooter
Defining Moment: MBV Opening Kill
Best Director: MBV George Mihalka
Wildcard: MBV The Valentine Goldmine Award
WTF: MBV The coroner knew the heart was female and the age of the victim
Best Picture: My Bloody Valentine
Total after deductions:
My Bloody Valentine: 12
My Bloody Valentine 3-D: 1
RACHAEL’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: MBV Valentine Bluffs
Best Character: MBV Hollis
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: MBV Mabel getting impaled & dried to death
Best Score or Soundtrack: MBV Paul Zaza with original songs by various artists
Best Screenplay: MBV Stephen Miller & John Beaird
Best Special Achievement: MBV Filming in the mines
Best Scene: MBV Mine cart scene
Defining Moment: MBV Mine cart scene
Best Director: MBV George Mihalka
Wildcard: MBV3D Longest-Totally-Unnecessary-Scene-In-A-Movie Award
WTF: MBV Happy making sure his trap is working
Best Picture: My Bloody Valentine
Total after deductions:
My Bloody Valentine: 12
My Bloody Valentine 3-D: 1
NATHAN’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: MBV Hanniger Mine
Best Character: MBV3D Tom Hanniger/The Miner
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: MBV Dave gets boiled to death in hot dog water
Best Score or Soundtrack: MBV Paul Zaza with original songs by various artists
Best Screenplay: MBV Stephen Miller & John Beaird
Best Special Achievement: MBV Filming in the mines
Best Scene: MBV Mabel getting impaled & dried to death
Defining Moment: MBV The Ballad of Harry Warden
Best Director: MBV George Mihalka
Wildcard: MBV The Restraint Award
WTF: MBV3D Jensen Ackles & Tom “Thrill Me” Atkins are completely wasted
Best Picture: My Bloody Valentine
Total after deductions:
My Bloody Valentine: 12
My Bloody Valentine 3-D: 1
