Multiple MiB reboots are being made that will please any demographic
A new leak from our friends over at The BloJo Movie Network says that multiple MiB reboots are currently filming, and the studio is trying to make as much money as possible to turn a profit. Supposedly, the new MiB movies will attempt to please everyone, and different versions are currently being filmed. The leak also states that the titles of the movies will change to please the demographic.
Currently, the different titles being filmed are Men in Black: Back in Black, Back in Black: Men in Black Men, Men in Black: The Blackening, Men in Black: The Whitening, 2 Black Men 1 Cup, Men Get Slapped (for Will Smith apologists), Non-Gender Binary Humanoids in Clothing Absent of Defined Color, and They/Them in Black (for woke audiences). Also, you can watch any version in reverse and it will affect how you view the movies.
The different scripts are reportedly being written by a supercomputer, and the movies have assembled talent that include Mark Wahlberg, Harry Styles, Tom Holland, Adam Driver, Ice Cube, Denzel Washington, Chris Rock, Kumail Nanjiani, Elton John, Simu Liu, Neil Patrick Harris, Peter Dinklage, Sir Ian McKellen, Jamie Clayton, Jamie Lee Curtis, Queen Latifah, and Lady Gaga.
The reboots are said to be a couple of weeks into production already and are being directed by a supercomputer with a whopping budget of 400 million dollars per movie. At this point, the producers have milked the franchise so much they are probably jerking off on fat piles of cash while wearing black ties and sunglasses. Here is one of the alleged plots, as The BloJo Movie Network leak tells it.
“Agent Johnson (Mark Wahlberg) is a senior agent who's ready to call it quits after completing his 69th alien bust. However, his plans get turned upside down when he partners with a younger agent (Tom Holland) who can seemingly predict his every move. To his surprise, Agent Johnson soon learns that the man who he calls his partner is a younger, better version of himself from a different universe. Shenanigans ensue and both agents have to work together to capture the evil alien twins (Adam Driver and Lady Gaga) before they enslave Earth.”
As clever as this may sound, it really isn’t. A couple of months ago, Mark Wahlberg discussed the project with The BloJo Movie Network while doing muscle exercises.
"It's a very fun and original story. I think. Honestly, I can't really talk about it much. However, I can say that we have the full support of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones,” Wahlberg said. “And don’t worry, the movie is kind of like the original Men in Black in that it's exactly like Men in Black. But with more white, less black and with a splash of gay. We pulled a lot from the original movie…sorta. Anyway, it’s going to be a gay old time at the movies.”
The different MIB reboots are set to release sometime next year, and will no doubt confuse audiences.
What do our readers think? Will you be watching one of the MiB teboots or would you rather have your mind wiped with penlights after reading this article? We will be sure to keep you updated as more information becomes available.
In other news, a popular Midwestern movie site called Adventures in Videoland has reportedly sold out to a gigantic Chinese tech company, and soon their name will be changed to Shito Video.
Scoop by Sumting Wong