Martin Scorsese Says Marvel Can Suck His Old Hairy Balls

London Film Festival—Martin Scorsese is not backing down from his recent comments that Marvel films are “not cinema.” In fact, it gets uglier! After The Irishman’s closing-night screening on Sunday, Martin Scorsese reportedly went on a long winded rant in the men’s bathroom. “It's not cinema, it’s crap," he said while flushing the toilet. “Our theaters shouldn’t be invaded by lesser films. We need cinemas to stand up against the foreign comic-book invaders and support the arts. We need to get back to real filmmaking. We need more narratives about the human experiance.”

As Scorsese was washing his hands a man in a nearby stall asked him if he thought Black Panther and Captain Marvel were groundbreaking in terms of representation? Scorsese screamed, “Marvel can suck my old hairy balls!” He then gave the bathroom attendant a thumbs up and reminded everyone in the lobby that The Irishman will receive a limited theatrical release on November 1, 2019, followed by digital streaming on Netflix on November 27, 2019. As he left the building he said something about Marvel, theme parks and circus clowns, but nobody seemed to care.

Robert Deniro was also in attendance. The Irishman actor said “I see his point. Films aren’t what they used to be, you know? I’m just not interested in that Marvel “cartoony” bullshit. If you ask me, I think the Marvel people are just as bad as our gangster president. F*ck ‘em, it’s as simple as that.”

The bathroom attendant did not respond to requests to comment.

Anyway, have fun discussing this in the comments.

Satire by Servian LeFever