I’m a Star Wars superfan but people call me an idiot

Greetings, fellow nerds! It's your friendly Star Wars superfan. I’m broadcasting from my Star Wars-themed bedroom in my mom’s basement (aka the Sarlacc Pit) I’m surrounded by action figures, posters, and a life-size Jar Jar cardboard cutout (don't judge me). I've been stuck in a galaxy far, far away for far too long, and I need your help.

As a proud owner of all nine films (yes, including the Holiday Special), I've reached a critical level of fandom. I’m a believer that the films, including the prequels are, in fact, cinematic masterpieces (don't @ me). My friends have abandoned me, my family has disowned me, and my girlfriend has started wearing a "The Force is Female" t-shirt. It's time for a change.

Here's the thing though: I love Star Wars. Like, LOVE Star Wars. All things Star Wars. Even the prequels. Especially the prequels. I've seen them so many times, I've lost count. I love the sequel trilogy. I LOVE it all.

But here's the problem: the internet doesn't agree with me. Like, at all. They HATE me! I've been called every name in the book. “Bantha Poodoo” is actually one of the nicer ones. And honestly, it sucks. I'm not a bad person, I swear! I just have... issues.

I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I need to put down my lightsaber and do something else for a change. But, dear readers, I have no idea how to do that! I've been so busy arguing with strangers on the internet about the best Star Wars film (it's Last Jedi, duh) that I've forgotten how to talk to actual humans.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Dude, just stop watching them, and get a life!" But it's not that easy! I'm in too deep. I've got a bad case of Star Wars-itis, and I need an intervention! I mean, have you seen The Rise of Skywalker? Masterpiece, right?! (Okay, maybe not, but I loved it, okay?!). See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. I can’t stop talking about Star Wars.

So, if anyone out there is willing to stage an intervention, I'm all ears (like Yoda). As I sit here in my mom's basement (rewatching "Attack of the Clones" for the 27th time) I can't help but wonder: "Have I gone too far?" Have I crossed the line from enthusiastic fan to full-blown dipshit? If you're reading this, fellow Star Wars enthusiasts, please – for the love of the Force – send help, send support, send a care package with a few dozen Jedi robes (size XXXL, please).

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

Yours sincerely,

-The Star Wars Basement Dweller