adventures in videoland

Critics with attitude

Hellboy vs Blade

 
 

Not all superheroes wear capes. Some of them wear trenchcoats—and bear sharp, pointy teeth. Tonight we pit Hellboy and Blade--two of comics’ darkest defenders of justice—against each other in fight to the finish. Which supernatural creature feature will take home the most Golden Idols? Break out your crucifix and holy water—and let’s talk about movies!

BRAD'S GOLDEN IDOLS

  1. Best Location: Blade The Vampire Archives

  2. Best Character: Hellboy Hellboy

  3. Best Screen Duo: Blade Blade & Whistler

  4. Best Villain/Antagonist: Blade Deacon Frost

  5. Best Hero/Protagonist: Hellboy #TeamNormal

  6. Best Kill/Defeat: Blade Nightclub Assault

  7. WTF: Hellboy was originally created as a throwaway character

  8. Best Score or Soundtrack: Blade Mark Isham & random artists

  9. Best Quote: Blade Blade: “Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”

  10. Best Screenplay: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro & Peter Briggs

  11. Best Special Achievement: Blade Marvel's First Box Office Success

  12. Best Supporting Actor/Actress: TIE Hellboy & Blade Doug Jones & Kris Kristofferson

  13. Best Lead Actor/Actress: Hellboy Ron Perlman

  14. Best Scene: Blade Nightclub Bloodbath

  15. Defining Moment: Blade Bloodbath Rave on the 100 Inch Screen

  16. Best Director: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro

  17. Wildcard: Blade R-Rated Comic-Book Movie Award

  18. Best Picture: Blade

Total after deductions:

  • Hellboy: 6

  • Blade: 12

WAYNE'S GOLDEN IDOLS

  1. Best Location: Hellboy The Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense HQ

  2. Best Character: Hellboy Hellboy

  3. Best Screen Duo: Blade Blade & Karen

  4. Best Villain/Antagonist: Hellboy Rasputin

  5. Best Hero/Protagonist: Hellboy Hellboy

  6. Best Kill/Defeat: Hellboy Pendulum Kill

  7. WTF: Blade Horrible Villains

  8. Best Score or Soundtrack: Hellboy Marco Beltrami & random artists

  9. Best Quote: Blade Blade: “Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”

  10. Best Screenplay: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro & Peter Briggs

  11. Best Special Achievement: TIE Hellboy & Blade Adaptation

  12. Best Supporting Actor/Actress: Blade Kris Kristofferson

  13. Best Lead Actor/Actress: Hellboy Ron Perlman

  14. Best Scene: Blade Nightclub Bloodbath

  15. Defining Moment: Hellboy Holding Professor Broom

  16. Best Director: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro

  17. Wildcard: TIE Hellboy & Blade Badass Weapons Award

  18. Best Picture: Hellboy

Total after deductions:

  • Hellboy: 13

  • Blade: 6

KYLE'S GOLDEN IDOLS

  1. Best Location: Blade Nightclub

  2. Best Character: Hellboy Abe Sapien

  3. Best Screen Duo: Hellboy Hellboy & Liz

  4. Best Villain/Antagonist: TIE Hellboy & Blade Karl Ruprecht Kroenen & Deacon Frost

  5. Best Hero/Protagonist: Blade Blade

  6. Best Kill/Defeat: Blade Chin Impalement

  7. WTF: Hellboy You know Sammael regenerates!

  8. Best Score or Soundtrack: Hellboy Marco Beltrami & random artists

  9. Best Quote: Blade Blade: “Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”

  10. Best Screenplay: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro & Peter Briggs

  11. Best Special Achievement: Hellboy Practical Effects

  12. Best Supporting Actor/Actress: TIE Hellboy & Blade Doug Jones & Stephen Dorff

  13. Best Lead Actor/Actress: Hellboy Ron Perlman

  14. Best Scene: Blade Nightclub Bloodbath

  15. Defining Moment: Hellboy Hellboy’s Character Design

  16. Best Director: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro

  17. Wildcard: Hellboy David Hyde Pierce is a Total Bro Award

  18. Best Picture: Hellboy

Total after deductions:

  • Hellboy: 12

  • Blade: 7

MATT'S GOLDEN IDOLS

  1. Best Location: Hellboy Underground sewers of Newark

  2. Best Character: Hellboy Helllboy

  3. Best Screen Duo: Hellboy Hellboy & Liz

  4. Best Villain/Antagonist: Blade Deacon Frost

  5. Best Hero/Protagonist: Blade Blade

  6. Best Kill/Defeat: Blade Dragonetti’s death by sunlight

  7. WTF: Blade throwing Karen from a rooftop without any serious injuries

  8. Best Score or Soundtrack: Hellboy Marco Beltrami & random artists

  9. Best Quote: Blade Blade: “Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”

  10. Best Screenplay: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro & Peter Briggs

  11. Best Special Achievement: Blade First Black Marvel Superhero in a major motion picture

  12. Best Supporting Actor/Actress: Blade Kris Kristofferson

  13. Best Lead Actor/Actress: Hellboy Ron Perlman

  14. Best Scene: TIE Hellboy & Blade Hellboy spying on John and Liz & The ritual to call upon La Magra

  15. Defining Moment: Blade Blade’s first appearance in the vampire nightclub

  16. Best Director: Hellboy Guillermo del Toro

  17. Wildcard: Hellboy Best Kiss Award

  18. Best Picture: Hellboy

Total after deductions:

  • Hellboy: 10

  • Blade: 8

Golden Idol Winner: Hellboy