Cousin Wayne's Rotten Halloween Part 2
What happens when you let Cousin Wayne put together a Rotten Halloween Part 2? You get another Rotten Halloween, of course! Cousin Wayne has scraped the bottom of the barrel once again to bring you six of the worst horror movies that cinema has to offer (at least according to Rotten Tomatoes). They are:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Night of the Demons
Children of the Corn
Maniac Cop
Chopping Mall
Puppet Master
Which of these films will have the dishonor of becoming a Golden Idol Winner, and which return to the sewers from whence they came? Grab a handful of dick corn ... and let’s talk about movies!
BRAD’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: TIE H3 & CotC Silver Shamrock Novelties & Cornfield
Best Character: H3 Conal Cochran
Best Screen Duo: CotC Isaac Chroner & Malachi Boardman
Best Villain/Antagonist: H3 Conal Cochran
Best Hero/Protagonist: NotD Rodger
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: H3 Test Room Kill
WTF: H3 Asking Ellie her age after having sex with her
Best Score or Soundtrack: H3 John Carpenter & Alan Howarth with original songs by various artists
Best Quote: H3 Conal Cochran’s villainous monologue
Best Screenplay: H3 Tommy Lee Wallace
Best Special Achievement: TIE H3 & PM Cult Status & Puppet Design
Best Supporting Actor/Actress: H3 Dan O’Herlihy
Best Lead Actor/Actress: H3 Tom Atkins
Best Scene: H3 Test Room Kill & Ambiguous Ending
Defining Moment: H3 Silver Shamrock Jingle
Best Director: CM Jim Wynorski
Worst Picture: Maniac Cop
Wildcard: H3 Best Fan Theory Award
Best Picture: Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Total after deductions:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: 14
Night of the Demons: 1
Children of the Corn: 2
Maniac Cop: Negative 1
Chopping Mall: 1
Puppet Master: 1
WAYNE’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: CotC Gatlin, Nebraska
Best Character: H3 Dr. Daniel Challis
Best Screen Duo: H3 Dr. Daniel Challis & Stacey Nelkin
Best Villain/Antagonist: H3 Conal Cochran
Best Hero/Protagonist: H3 Dr. Daniel Challis
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: CM Head Explosion
WTF: PM Leech Woman
Best Score or Soundtrack: NotD Dennis Michael Tenney with original songs by various artists
Best Quote: NotD Suzanne: “Do you guys have sour balls? Too bad. I bet you don’t get many blowjobs.”
Best Screenplay: TIE H3 & CotC Tommy Lee Wallace & George Goldsmith/Stephen King
Best Special Achievement: NotD Rodger lives!!
Best Supporting Actor/Actress: Rubber Chicken
Best Lead Actor/Actress: H3 Tom Atkins
Best Scene: H3 Ambiguous Ending
Defining Moment: MC Fuck Blue Lives
Best Director: CM Jim Wynorski
Worst Picture: Puppet Master
Wildcard: NotD Linnea Quigley’s Ass Award
Best Picture: TIE Halloween 3: Season of the Witch & Chopping Mall
Total after deductions:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: 8
Night of the Demons: 4
Children of the Corn: 2
Maniac Cop: 1
Chopping Mall: 3
Puppet Master: Negative 1
KYLE’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: CotC Cornfield
Best Character: CotC Isaac
Best Screen Duo: PM The Puppets
Best Villain/Antagonist: CotC He Who Walks Behind the Rows
Best Hero/Protagonist: H3 Dr. Daniel Challis
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: CM Janitor Kill
WTF: PM Why are puppets out of breath?
Best Score or Soundtrack: Rubber Chicken
Best Quote: MC Security Guard: “You always take a leak with a gun in your hand? That’s a good way to blow your balls off.”
Best Screenplay: CotC George Goldsmith/Stephen King
Best Special Achievement: PM Puppets
Best Supporting Actor/Actress: CotC John Franklin
Best Lead Actor/Actress: H3 Tom Atkins
Best Scene: CM Janitor talks sh*t to the robot
Defining Moment: NotD Lipstick Titty
Best Director: Rubber Chicken
Worst Picture: Puppet Master
Wildcard: NotD Best Scene with Nipples Award
Best Picture: Children of the Corn
Total after deductions:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: 2
Night of the Demons: 2
Children of the Corn: 8
Maniac Cop: 1
Chopping Mall: 2
Puppet Master: 1
NATHAN’S GOLDEN IDOLS
Best Location: H3 Silver Shamrock Novelties
Best Character: TIE H3 & NotD Dr. Daniel Challis & Rodger
Best Screen Duo: CotC Burt Stanton & Vicky Baxter
Best Villain/Antagonist: H3 Conal Cochran
Best Hero/Protagonist: CotC Burt Stanton
Best Kill/Death/Defeat: H3 Conal Cochran gets vaporized by Stonehenge
WTF: H3 Tom Adkins sucking on Stacey Nelkin’s titty
Best Score or Soundtrack: CM Chuck Cirino with original songs by various artists
Best Quote: TIE NotD & CM Rick: “Let’s send these f**kers a Rambo-gram.” Billy: Wow, bodacious boobies, sis.”
Best Screenplay: NotD Joe Augustyn
Best Special Achievement: PM Stop Motion Animation
Best Supporting Actor/Actress: H3 Dan O’Herlihy
Best Lead Actor/Actress: H3 Tom Atkins
Best Scene: NotD Rodger yeets himself out of the window
Defining Moment: H3 Silver Shamrock Jingle
Best Director: CM Jim Wynorski
Worst Picture: Puppet Master
Wildcard: CM Most Underrated Film Award
Best Picture: Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Total after deductions:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: 8
Night of the Demons: 4
Children of the Corn: 2
Maniac Cop: 0
Chopping Mall: 4
Puppet Master: 0