Breaking News! Will Smith says he was brainwashed by white supremacists before the SLAP!
Following his apology to Chris Rock for assaulting him on stage at the 94th Academy Awards, Will Smith has finally spoken out for the first time since the infamous slap heard around the world. The Best Actor winner for King Richard was recently interviewed by none other than The BloJo Movie Network. In the tell-all interview, Will Smith explains in great detail about what happened before “The Slap.”
“I was kidnapped by white supremacists and brainwashed before the Oscars,” he said. “They used me as their own black Winter Soldier. I felt like the Blackchurian Candidate. During the Oscars, I was activated by a trigger word, immediately forgetting who I was. Hearing the words “G.I. Jane 2” transformed me into a weapon that enforced racial stereotypes. After I slapped a black man, I gained control of my mind once again. Those white bastards used me to amplify and legitimize black on black violence. And check this out, I recently learned that the red table from our Red Table Talk show was built from the wood of an old plantation house and cursed with the blood of its owner. Ain’t that some shit? These white muthas are always up to no good.”
Our sources at The BloJo Movie Network told us that after the interview Will was informed that the Academy had decided to ban him for 10 years for his assault on Chris Rock. He responded by slapping everyone in the room as he walked away with a shit-eating grin.
What do our readers think? Does 10 years fit the crime? Is the slap rooted in anti-blackness? Is Will Smith pulling the hood over our eyes? Did he really get brainwashed by white supremacists? Or is he just being a bad boy? If so, what will it take to make Will Smith great again? Let us know your thoughts on this entanglement in the comments below.
In other news, The Russian invasion of Ukraine appears to have had an impact on American couch potatoes as Red Dawn (1984) has become the most streamed movie in America! F#ck yeah!
Scoop by Bocephus Chevy