Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande team up for new movie Ozempic Twins

Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has decided the world needs a movie titled Ozempic Twins. And who better to star in this pharma-fueled, cinematic fever dream than two titans of entertainment: Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo

The plot follows two estranged twins who were separated at birth due to a shady weight-loss drug trial gone wrong. Ariana Grande, the pint-sized pop powerhouse, will play Vivian, a popular TikTok fitness influencer and Cynthia Erivo’s character, Margaret, will play a down-on-her-luck Broadway star. Their lives take a shocking turn when they reunite at an Ozempic support group, only to discover they’re twins. Naturally, hijinks ensue as they discover the true meaning of siblinghood.

Insiders claim that filming hasn’t been without its fair share of drama. Word on the street is that Ariana insisted on being smaller than Erivo in every frame. And then there’s the food situation. Ariana’s contract reportedly bans any carbs within 50 feet of her trailer, while Cynthia has been overheard arguing with producers about her overuse of Ozempic. She’s supposedly injecting the drug like it’s going out of style.

So why a movie about Ozempic? Let’s be honest: the drug has taken over Hollywood faster than a Marvel release schedule. Need to drop a few pounds before your big role? Call your doctor. Can’t fit into your Wicked costume? Ozempic’s got your back. So it was only a matter of time before the movie industry cashed in.

But the real question remains unanswered. Will the movie tackle the ethical concerns surrounding Ozempic, or will it merely ride the wave of Hollywood’s weight-loss obsession? One thing’s for sure: whether you’re here for the story or just to see two divas attempt synchronized injections, Ozempic Twins is bound to leave an impression on your blood sugar levels.

Coming to a theater near you… but only after your pre-screening consultation with a licensed endocrinologist.

-Fluffy McStuffins